I have to say that God's plan was much different than my simple minded plan. He had much more in store for me than I could have ever imagined! Although I did not understand, at the time, Him allowing me to walk through the pain and agony of being infertile for 8 very long devastating years, there is always a much bigger picture that our Master Creator has in mind. Through the hardship of it all, I learned so much about God's grace always being sufficient to sustain me; His peace to reassure me that He "did know the plans that He had for me that were for good and not to hurt me" (Jer. 29:11); His strength to help me persevere when I didn't want to go on; and most of all I can say that my God truly is a faithful, loving God that wants only the best for His children! I think every day what a tremendous blessing I would have missed out on if God would have allowed me to have my simple minded dream. I cannot imagine my life without my two oldest sons that God so graciously gifted us with through adoption. His plan for us, long before we were even created! It haunts me to think that if I would have demanded my own way and refused to open my eyes to God's plan and His ways, I would have denied two of the greatest blessings that God had in store for me!
Now, here I sit with five amazing, beautiful children that fill my life with laughter and joy! I know that I have given my hubby a hard time about this predicament that I am in right now (being pregnant...again...at 41), but how in the world could I ever complain? Children are a blessing from the Lord and I do thank God for this precious little boy that is fixing to come into the world! I do have to say, however, that if God is insistent on granting me the millions of prayers that I offered up to Him most of my life for wanting 10 kids, I pray that there will be 4 little ones that are needing the love of a big happy family and we get to receive them as precious gifts like our first two were given.
I honestly cannot remember the last time I have had an opportunity to rest. Over the last 12 years, I can probably count on two hands the number of full nights sleep that I have gotten. So, for now, I am trying to relax and thank God for these moments of "bed rest". Thank you to all who are making it possible and helping our family out in this time! Thank you to my wonderful church family for providing delicious meals for us each night. And thank you for your continued prayers as we welcome our newest Shirley into the world, and no, we have not agreed on a name yet! :/