His name means, "The Lord is my Salvation, my firm foundation".  Isaiah just turned nine on Wednesday and I can tell you that his life is a true testimony to me that the Lord is my Salvation!  He is a testimony of God's goodness, His grace, His failthfulness and His abundant blessings!  After praying so very long for a baby (5years) we had the privilege to adopt Eli, and that was just the start of God's amazing faithfulness to my fervant prayer for children.  When Eli was 15 months old, we were so blessed and ecstatic  that God had another bundle of joy in store for us!  Nine years ago, Isaiah was born in Mobile, AL.  Our hearts were so overjoyed as we made the drive from Ocala to go pick up our precious son from the hospital.  He was so tiny, sweet and the quietest baby for the first three months.  No joke...the day we finalized his adoption in Mobile, he began being the Isaiah we all know and love today.  Never stops!  He is a bundle of energy to say the least.  When we took him to his first day at pre-k, Derrick and I looked at each other and said, "Here's the beginning of countless meetings with the teacher."  Not because he was bad, but because he LOVES to talk, make people laugh and be the center of attention.  Our first talk with his teacher, however, was about how well behaved he was and that she just had a hard time getting him to talk.  We quickly made sure she knew that our son was Isaiah, with the white blond hair.  She assured us that was who she was talking about. Each teacher there after has said the same thing.  So he has the best of both worlds...he CAN be the life of the party and he can control it when needed!
Isaiah is such a special little boy!  He loves Jesus with all his heart and had the privilege of having his daddy baptize him this year.  He absolutely LOVES animals, reptiles especially, but won't even kill a roach.  He wanted nothing more than a ball python for his birthday and won his daddy over in getting one.  He has been studying snakes for the past year, how to feed them handle them, care for them...and now he get's to put it into action with his new friend "Lucky".
Isaiah loves life and lives it to it's fullest!
I cannot imagine my life without him!  I thank the Lord every day for having such an amazing plan in mind for me to have the privilege of being Isaiah's mommy!  I can't wait to see how the Lord uses his life! 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISAIAH!  I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!

21 years ago, Derrick and I had our first date.  I knew then that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  It took him 5 years to come along and finally marry me, but it was worth the wait!
16 years ago today we stood in front of 1100 people and said, "I do."   We gave our lives to one another and became one.  It was a fairytale wedding, and according to my sheltered, fairytale mind, the rest of our lives would be living the fairytale dream and the "happily ever after".  I never took into account...LIFE!  The beginning years of marriage of getting used to each other 24/7, or the devastating years of dealing with infertility, or losing our first adoption that we planned for for 7 months, church planting with no income for 21 months, walking the wilderness road for about 5 years...these were just some of the hard times.  Yet, each of these drew us so much closer to each other and increased our faith tremendously!  Not to mention the wonderful times of 8 great years in a wonderful ministry where we saw tremendous lifechange of hundreds of lives and developed life-long friends, adopting two of the most precious boys in the world that we can't imagine our lives without, the birth of our three biological children, living at the beach and ministering with a church family that we love and adore at East Coast Church!  We are so very blessed and are so grateful to our Lord and Savior for allowing our paths to meet!
Derrick, you are an amazing husband, friend, provider, protector and leader of our family!  I love you more today than ever and look foward to the next 50 years with you!  :) Thank you for loving me unconditionally and for always helping me to be the Godly woman that God wants me to be.  Thank you for your wisdom in times of uncertainty, your strength in times of hardship, your support when I feel like giving up.  Thank you for always being a gentleman, opening the doors for me, walking on the outside nearest the cars and still romancing me after so many years.  Your love is surreal and I can't imagine my life without you.  I am so proud of all that you do...stepping up to the plate for all that God calls you to.  I love you with every fiber of my being. 
Happy 16th Anniversary today and Happy 46th Birthday tomorrow! 

Wow!  Where do I even begin????  We had a very hard time coming up with a name for Jesse as I was pregnant with him, so finally my oldest son said, "I think we should name him 'Jesse'."  I asked Eli where he had heard that name and he said that he just made it up.  So, Jesse it would be!  As for a middle name, Derrick and I kept contemplating James because it was, by the way, my dad's name; but our parents just couldn't believe we could do that because they grew up in the era of the Jesse James that was always up to no good.  Well, as I laid on the delivery table, one of the nurses asked what we were going to name him, and we admitted that we weren't real sure. The doctor blurted in, "Oh no!  I heard this baby was going to be named Jesse James and I stayed here after my shift so I can say I delievered Jesse James!"
So, we named him Jesse James, and I can say that this era can also say Jesse James is always up to no good!  :)
I love him to pieces, he just happens to be the one that loves to push his mama's every button!  It's a good thing he's so cute!
He does have his loving, sweet moments where he just randomly blurts out, "Mama, I love you!"  And it's those moments that keep me going (And keep him alive!).
 My pregnancy with him came at a very unstable time in our lives. We had just moved to Orlando to plant a church, had no income and no insurance.  He was a blessing in the midst of a hard time and a reassurance that God is always in control and will provide!  I can't believe 5 years have come and gone since he arrived! 
Happy Birthday Jesse!

A story I must tell...If you've read any of my blogs you know that Derrick and I dealt with infertility for 8 very long years.  Those were truly some of the most trying years of my life.  Every month thinking, "This could be the month!" only to be diappointed by another negative sign.  Well, that's when I started writing my book.  I wanted other women dealing with infertility to know that they were not alone.  I wanted to share all the ups and downs and how my Savior had gotten me through each low moment. 
Let me share with you about a day I will never forget.
It was a Saturday afternoon and I had been cleaning house all day.  I don't believe I had even brushed my teeth (Gross, I know!)  No make-up, gymshorts and tee shirt...just giving you the full picture. The boys (If this is the first blog of mine that you've read, our first two boys were adopted from birth.) were playing and Derrick was at church leading worship in the two services that our church had every Saturday night.  I decided to sit down and write a little in my book.  I was on the chapter in my book that discusses different women in the Bible that suffered from infertility and how each of them dealt with it.  I began to write a personal point about how through all the devastation, I was now beginning to see the bigger picture. God wanted us to be blessed with two amazingly, precious little boys that I could not imagine my life without. God was revealing to me to live each day in expectancy and excitement to see what He is up to.  As I wrote those words down, God told me to go to the bathroom garbage can and look at the pregnancy test that I had taken the day before.  Taking a test was a monthly ritual for me.  I immediately threw it away because I had heard that the "positive" sign comes up immediately and I didn't see it right away so I chuncked it.  Just like the thousands of others that I had taken over the past 8 years.
Feeling a little wierd, I went to the garbage can, pulled out the test that I had taken the day before and low and behold, IT WAS POSITIVE!!!!!!!!  Nothing can describe that feeling after waiting all my life to see it!
I had always dreamt of how, when the time came, I would tell Derrick that we were going to have a baby, but never pictured it quite like it happened.  I, in my mess of attire, no make-up and un-brushed teeth, picked up the boys, threw them in the car and raced to two different stores before I found another pregnancy test.  I had to see another positive!  Sure enough, It was for real!  The boys and I hurried up to the church, I run in carrying them, one on each hip, and stick my head in the worship room door and ask to speak to Derrick...could not wait!!!!  He came out and I handed him the stick!  It was amazing! 
That was 7 years ago!  My Carmen Elizabeth was born on June 22, 2004.  I can't believe 7 years have come and gone.
The point I want you to get from this whole story is, God is at work.  You may not see it right now.  It may not even feel like He knows you exsist, but He does my friend!  His plans for you are not to harm you, but to give you hope and a good future! (Jeremiah 29:11)  He has blessed my life beyond anything I could have ever dreamed! 
Live with expectancy of what God is up to and rejoice to be a part of it! 
I love you my sweet Carmen!  Happy Birthday!

It was 2 years and 9 months ago that I remember waking up at 6 a.m. to take a pregnancy test and then I went and literally slapped Derrick for getting me pregnant.  Now I can't imagine my life without my little Ciera Joy!  I truly cannot believe she is 2 tomorrow!  She is so smart, some times too smart!  She can keep up with her siblings and she is absolutely spoiled rotten by each of them!  Isaiah told me the other day that he didn't want her to get any bigger...he followed that statement with, "Or you could just have another baby!"  haha! 
She, I have to admit, is one that has "Beiber fever".  She can sing all of his songs that we have on CD.  She loves to sing and always has.  As I laid down beside her tonight, she held her "baby" in her arms and made sure that she was holding both of the baby's hands.  She is very nurturing and loves babies!  She is so precious and such a gift from God!  Even though she was quite unexpected, she is a huge blessing and I thank God every day for giving her to us!

I'd like to tell you about one of the most important days in my life.  A day that, no matter how long I had believed that there was a God, I knew, that day, there was no doubt.  My faith was rejuvenated in a faithful loving God.  In order to get the whole picture of that very special day, I have to back up a little and share the bigger picture.
All of my life - and when I say all, I mean all - I had prayed for 10 children.  I knew that as soon as I graduated from highschool that I would get married and we (supposing that God would have the "we" lined up and ready to go) would begin our adventure of popping out those ten precious babies that I had prayed for.  I just knew I had a great plan for my life, but God seemed to think He had a better one.  First of all, I graduated and there was no "we".  I had to wait 5 more years before the Lord unfolded His perfect plan for the mate He had in store for me.  Then, little did I know that for the next five and a half years after getting married, that I would deal with the devastation of infertility.  This couldn't be happening to me!  I mean, what did I do to deserve this?  All I wanted my whole life was to be a mother to as many babies as the Lord would allow me to have and I couldn't even have one!  I kept screaming at God that it was his first command to "be fruitful and multiply" and I was just trying to obey, but He wouldn't let me!  I was living for God, giving my life away in serving Him, and He couldn't even answer the one prayer that I had begged and pleaded for my entire life? 
It's hard to describe to someone who has never experienced infertility, but to see a negative sign on a pregnancy test every month for over five years (Yea, I should've bought stock in them.) and to have all your friends having their 2nd, 3rd and 4th child...It's gut wrenching!  I spent many a nights curled up in fetal position on the floor crying out to God and questioning if He even knew I existed.
God finally began opening our eyes to think that maybe He had a different plan in mind and He placed a poem on my heart one night that opened my eyes.  I'd like to share it with you:

                                Could It Be?
So long now I have prayed for a precious little one;
To feel Your gift within my womb, and know their life’s begun.
To get the nursery ready, filling it with baby things galore
And of course there’s anticipation of something so much more…
 That wonderful, special day, oh I can see it so very clear,
When I wrap that precious little one in my arms and hold them oh so near!
There are no words to describe the barrenness of the womb
Nor the mothering instincts of a woman, just longing to set full bloom.
 It’s hard to understand, Lord, why so many years go by
Shedding tears of sorrow as I tried to figure out why.
As I have prayed and searched for answers, I feel Your gentle touch
Guiding me to wisdom…You’ve allowed me to see so much!
 How could I be so blind, so blind not to see?
What makes a child so special is YOU, not the genes in me!
 Children to You are precious, so precious in Your sight
And though they did not come from Your womb, You love them with all Your might!
Could it be Dear Lord that it’s not beneath my heart that You choose to let our child begin?
But instead You begin their life within our hearts and with it a love that will never end!
Could it be Dear Lord that my womb has remained barren because Your plan is to say,
“I have such a precious gift to give; it’s just going to be given in a different way!”?
If it is Your divine will to bless us Lord in this special way
I lift up to You this precious little one wherever they are today!
Please give them health and keep them safe until that awesome day
When we can hold them in our arms and tell them, “You’re here to stay!”

Derrick and I began the road of adoption.  We took foster care/adoption classes through the state of Florida not having any idea where that would lead.  As we finished the classes we met a young girl that had come to church for counseling and had just found out she was pregnant.  To make a very long story short, she asked us to adopt her baby, we went through her whole pregnancy with her, took her to all of her appointments and ultrasounds, had a huge baby shower for the baby girl that we were going to be blessed with, had given her a name and the birthmother changed her mind an hour before she gave birth.  It was like a death to us.  Excruciating!
However, two months prior to this baby being born, I went to a Bible study at church.  I shared at the end of the study that I needed prayer in dealing with our adoption.  There was a young lady there that I had never met, that had asked my group leader if she thought I would talk to her about adoption.  Our leader introduced us and she told me that she was 7 months pregnant and was going to have to put her baby up for adoption and she would just like to talk to me.  I got her number and told her that I would call her when I got off of work that day.  I assumed she already had adoptive parents for her child and that she just wanted to hear my heart on what I was going through so she would know how her adoptive parents were feeling.  I got home, called her, and couldn't believe my ears when she said that she got home from the study and had told her mom that she had met her baby's mama at the study.  She asked if Derrick and I would pray about adopting her baby too (still thinking we were to adopt the other baby due just a little before hers).  My heart lept for joy and I was so excited!  Derrick of course was too!
This all brings me to ten years ago today.  Derrick and I were given the most precious gift as Eli Zane was born on this day.  All my life I had prayed to hold our baby in my arms and I can't even begin to tell you the emotions that run through my mind as I remember holding him for the first time.  The gratefulness in my heart for a loving, faithful Savior who knew that He could surpass all my hopes and dreams if I would just be patient and wait on Him; and to a young birthmother who entrusted us with the life of her child so that we could love and nurture him with every fiber of our being and provide for him all that he needed.
"Eli Zane" means "God is great, God is good".  He is a true testimony of that in our lives!

Happy Birthday Eli!  I love you with all my heart!