I was convicted the other night as I was walking down the beach with my little ones.  Carmen and I were picking up shells and putting them in her bucket.  I was picking up the whole, beautiful shells and Carmen kept picking up the broken pieces of shells.  I showed Carmen the kind I was picking up and said that those were the kind she needed to look for...not all the broken pieces.  As soon as those words came out of my mouth, the Lord gently spoke into my ear saying, "Marci, brokenness is beautiful to me!"  It's not until we are broken that God can mold and shape us to be who He wants us to be.  It's not until we are broken that we can be rid of our selfish pride that knows no need for a Savior.  My whole shells were pretty but they represent two things.  In the beginning they are a fasad that everything in my life is great and glorious and I need nothing more to fulfill.  In the end, after being broken, they are a picture of a life that has been broken and put back together by the love of the Father so that everything is great and glorious and I have been fulfilled by Jesus!
Psalm 51 :17 says, "The sacrifice God wants is a broken spirit.  God, You will not reject a heart that is broken and sorry for sin."
Now, as Carmen picks up the broken pieces, I will be reminded of my precious Savior that gently picked up my pieces when I had nothing left to offer.  To Him, it was a beautiful thing.  Not that I was hurting and broken, but because He knew His daughter had gotten to a point where she knew she needed Him.  He knew from then on, her life would never be the same!

After I gave my testimony to the women at my church, I realized that I told about the major God moments in my life, but thought a few fun facts about me would have been nice too.  So here goes:

1.  I am NOT a name brand kinda girl!  If I have name brand clothes on, they were probably yours that you took to Goodwill!  I love Goodwill!

2.  I do my laundry totally "wrong".  Of course my mom taught me to wash with like colors and when to use warm or cold water.  I do my loads according to importance of being folded.  I wash all the undies, socks and pjs together and wash them if I have to leave the house b/c it's ok for them to wrinkle.  Our nice clothes I do when I can get them out of the dryer immediately to avoid having to iron...one of my least favorite things to do!  I also wash everything in cold.  Heard the other day that I'm saving $.25/load by doing this!  :)

3.  I am a clean freak.  I love organizing!!!  Have to bring order to the chaos!  Derrick gets on to me all the time because I clean up after the kids all the time instead of making them do it.  I just know how I like it done and that I can get it done that way.  So the other day I taught them all how to do their individual jobs (the way I like it).  A few weeks in and they are still loving cleaning day...go figure!

4.  Another one of my least favorite things to do is COOKING!!!!  I so need help in this area!  I literally dread every day deciding what's for dinner and with 5 kids none of them like the same things.  Then if I try something new that takes me forever, it never tastes worth the time and effort I put into it.  I would so love a lifetime meal-plan...one that preferably shows up at my door at about 5 p.m. everyday!

5.  I handle all the money in our household.  I budget and pay all the bills.  I'm one of those that pays right away...don't like any late payments!  I knew once I had kids that I wanted to be a stay at home mom, so I have always prioritized what we need and don't need.  For instance, I do my own mani & pedicures; we don't have all the latest technical stuff; we have never had a car payment b/c we have never bought a brand new car; I shop at Walmart, Target and Goodwill;  I try to highight my own hair, but as you've seen lately it's not going so well.  These are just a few of my budget savers.  I have tried coupons, but I usually forget them or if I remember to take them, I forget I have them.  Gotta work on that!

6.  I love the beach!  Always have and I'm assuming I always will.  (Even though my tanning days are catching up with me through a few wrinkles.)

7.  I have written a book on my journey though infertility and will save up to self-publish it.  Just want to give to those going through the same, not to sell.

8.  Derrick and I began dating 20 years ago.  Wow!  And I still love him...even more!  :)

9.  I will be 40 next year.  Oh my gosh!  I can't believe those words just came out of my mouth!

10.  I'm trying to get back to the weight I was before i had all my babies...15 lbs to go!

11.  I love strawberry flavored twizzlers!

12.  My parents and my in-laws are four of my very best friends. 

13.  I enjoy aerobics, rollerblading and swimming.

14.  I have never mown the lawn...don't even know how.  (Pitiful I know!)

15.  I love rings.  Used to wear one on every finger in high school.

16.  I am a reality t.v. show and a facebook junky. However I do not play all the games on FB...just the connect part.

17.  I am shy even though I force myself to overcome.

18.  We get a couple of $5 hot & ready pizzas from Little Ceasars on Friday nights.

19.  I do not like to read.  Never have.  Shh!  Don't tell my kids!

20.  I am completely bored now!  :)

Well, just a few fun facts.  I'd love to know some about you too!

My mom used to sing this song all the time as I  was growing up.  Not necessarily because the living was easy, but because she loved the part that says, "Your daddy's rich and your mama's good looking..."  As I was singing this song in my head, I can't help but wonder if the living is ever easy????  We actually have had a good summer so far, minus the stomach bug that we all passed around.  I could have accepted it if I would have kept off the 5 lbs that I lost from it, but of course it came right back on once I put food in my mouth!  We got to go to Chattanooga, TN for a family reunion to see family that we haven't seen since Eli was about 3 months old (9 years ago).  Our summer's are also full of partying.  Our kids birthdays are in April, May, June, July and August.  We have enjoyed celebrating Eli, Carmen and Ciera.  Next comes Jesse's 4th b-day on the 12th and then Isaiah's in August.  Talk about being broke for the summer! 

I got an e-mail the other day and about hit the floor...my 20 year high school reunion is in August.  WHAT?!?!  Has it really been 20 years?  I know I'm telling my age now!  August is also mine and Derrick's 15 year wedding anniversary.  Wow!  What a summer!

Not only are we celebrating b-day's, anniversary's and reunions, our family is getting ready to embark on a new adventure...homeschooling.  I blogged about this a year ago when the Lord first laid this on my heart.  Throughout this last year God has continued to confirm my decision on this.  I have ordered curriculums and books, gotten supplies and organized our living room...now I'm ready to go!  Excited, nervous, scared and thrilled.  I might not have any hair left come next summer, but I know God always equips you with what you need to accomplish the call He has on your life.  I will now even more eagerly await those quiet times that I get every now and then, but I will have the joy of having my children grow up before my eyes!  I will cherish every moment because before I know it they will be celebrating their kid's b-days and their own anniversaries.

Hope you are all enjoying your summer!

It is exciting to see God at work!  Since my last blog regarding our church, our church family has stepped up to the plate and taken the steps toward a fresh start.  You have continued to attend and serve, not letting the enemy to pursuade you to give up.  You have given more than usual, allowing more than $16,000 of our financial debt to be paid off in the last 30 days.  On May 5th, we voted in 5 trustees in order to have financial accountability; and next Wednesday we will be voting in elders for leadership, accountability and support as our church continues to grow.

Over the last few weeks Derrick has portrayed what we value as a church and has given a vision for us to focus in on:  LOVE GOD / LOVE PEOPLE / SERVE YOUR WORLD!

There is an excitement in the air and great things are on the horizon.  We are scheduling many events for our church family to connect and unite.  Just to name a few, we will be having "Baptism at the Beach" including baptism, delicious food and loads of fun.  Also we will be having a few  "Pizza at the Park" and "Movie Nights" for families to enjoy during the summer break.

As I laid my committment card down at the altar Sunday morning and took my servants towel, my heart swelled with joy as I watched everyone else do the same!  There is nothing like a room full of humble, willing servants ready and eager to do the work of Christ!  So New Hoper's....keep on keepin' on!

If you are not a part of New Hope's family, we covet your prayers and you can keep up with us at www.findhopehere.com or be-friend us on facebook "new-hope church"!

 

Well, I got a ticket last week.  It was supposed to be a speeding ticket, but the officer "gave me a break" by just issuing a $119 ticket for not having my address changed on my license.  I guess I should be thankful since it won't affect my insurance, but I sure could have thought of alot more things to do with that money!
Wouldn't it be awful if we were given a ticket for every little thing we did wrong?  I can't imagine the fees!  Yes, even those things that we do when we think that noone is watching.  Talk bad about someone...boom!  Ticket! (Phil. 2:3)  Get a little greedy...boom!  Ticket! (I Timothy 6:10)  Eat too much...boom!  Ticket!  Drink too much...boom!  Ticket!  (Proverbs 23:20-21)  Love anything (family, friends, job, ideas, dreams, money, car, home) more than God...boom!  Ticket!  (Rom. 1 :25)  Not obeying the laws of the land...boom!  Ticket! (Titus 3:1-2)  Obviously I could go on and on, but I think you catch my drift!
Thankfully, we have a loving Saviour that died on a cross for our sins so that our debts have all been paid.  All those fees for my daily, fleshly wrongs have been covered with the blood of Christ so there is no need for ticketing my every weakness...except when it has to do with breaking the law of course!  :)  My having to pay a fine is the consequence of my sin.  Although my sin is forgiven by Christ, sin always has a consequence.  That's why it is God's ultimate desire that we fashion our lives after Him.  To live a holy and blameless life so that we get to enjoy a life of abundance and joy instead of living a life of consequences.
God says in His word, "I am the Lord your God.  Keep yourselves holy for Me because I am holy."  I think this is something that Christ-followers have continually drifted away from.  I am speaking to myself as well believe me!  The uglier the world gets, it's almost as though Christians feel that they can live on the edge because it doesn't look quite as bad as what the world is doing.  God has called us to be different. Light in a dark world. 
It's time we stop the excuses for all our bad habits and know that we can overcome anything because "I can do all things through Jesus Christ who gives me strength!" 
Phil. 4:13  It's time we stop doing as the world does...the way we dress, the music we listen to, the places we go, the things we watch on tv, the impurities we just overlook...it's time to reflect the life of Jesus!  If you are wearing His name as a CHRISTian, let's strive to live a life of holiness!  Yes, that even means driving the speed limit!  :)

Sometimes life throws you a curveball, spinning you in a whirlwind direction in which you never expected.  Derrick and I moved to Melbourne, FL a year ago for him to go on staff as a worship pastor at a local church.  The people seemed to have a heart after reaching the community.  There was an excitment there to move forward because they were outgrowing their facility and were following their pastors leadership to go portable so there would be continued room for growth.  We were touched by the people's attitude and willing hearts to do what it would take to reach Melbourne for Christ.  Their willingness was actually our deciding factor on moving here.  We knew that God wanted to use this church for the furtherance of His kingdom and we were excited to come on board and be a part of it.
Almost exactly to the year of being here, we have found ourselves in circumstances we would have never imagined.  The lead pastor has resigned and now Derrick is interim.  The church is over $240k in debt and we have 3 collection agencies after us.  We have moved BACK into our facility in order to not have a lease payment each month at the school, and the church family is wounded, mad and ready to settle back down into "life as they once knew it." 
Many have apologized for what we have encountered, saying, "I know you didn't know what you were signing up for when you came on board here."  Many have been so kind and grateful that we are here.  Some have been fearful that Derrick is here just to sell their facility out from underneath them and take them portable for the long haul.  (Forgetting that he came on as the WORSHIP PASTOR with the portable plan already laid out when he came on staff.)
I have hesitated to write about any of this because I don't know how many of my church family reads my blogs, but my blogs have to do with real, day to day stuff in my life so I decided to go ahead and share my heart.
For my dear church family that do read this, I love you with all my heart!  It saddens me greatly to see what has transpired over the last month or so and my and Derrick's hearts have been so heavy for you.  
For those who have apologized to us for what we have taken on, apologize no more!  We know that God called us here and believe that God had us here for such a time as this.  Though the enemy is trying to intervene, we are so excited that he feels threatened enough to deal with us!  We know that God has won this battle and you, my church family, are victorious through our Saviour and Lord...no matter what the enemy throws our way! 
For those who have encouraged us and blessed our family, a huge "Thank you!" to you and know that we are eternally grateful for every kind word spoken!
For those who are fearful, keep in mind that our God is not a God of fear, but of love, peace and a sound mind!  I can assure you that Derrick has been on his face before God daily seeking wisdom for the next steps for New Hope.  Forgive me for the length of this segment, but I have to share something that Max Lucado wrote:

Faith is often the child of fear.  Fear propelled Peter out of the boat.  He'd ridden these waves before.  He knew what these storms could do.  He'd heard the stories.  He'd seen the wreckage.  He knew the widows.  he knew the storm could kill.  And wanted out...
Look into his eyes tonight and see fear - a suffocating, heart-racing fear would be born an act of faith, for faith is often the child of fear.
If Peter had seen Jesus walking on the water during a calm, peaceful day, do you think that he would have walked out to him?  Nor do I.
Had the lake been carpet smooth and the journey pleasant, do you think that Peter would have begged Jesus to take him on a stroll across the top of the water?  Doubtful.
But give a man a choice between sure death and a crazy chance, and he'll take the chance every time! 
Great acts of faith are seldom born out of calm calculation.  It wasn't logic that caused Moses to raise his staff on the bank of the Red Sea.
it wasn't medical research that convinced Naaman to dip seven times in the river.
It wasn't common sense that caused Paul to abandon the Law and embrace grace.
And it wasn't a confident committee that prayed in a small room in Jerusalem for Peter's release from prison.  It was a fearful, desperate, band of backed-into-a-corner believers.  It was a church with no options.  A congregation of have-nots pleading for help. 
And never were they stronger.
At the beginning of every act of faith, there is often a seed of fear.

On the day that our pastor resigned, God sent me directly to Isaiah 66.  it's all good but I'll point out one verse in particular.

66:9" 'In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born,' says the Lord. 'If I cause you the pain, I will not stop you from giving birth to your new nation,' says your God." 

God still wants to do a great work New Hope and He wants to use us to do it!!!!  Let's don't go backwards to our comfort and small-mindedness.  God wants to do mighty things through us so lets not get bogged down with the circumstances.  Let's don't be like the Israelites and beg to go back to life as we knew it...I don't want to go back to Egypt!  I want to reach for the promised land and do whatever it takes to reach the lost and hurting and bring them with us!  It's not about the pain we've experienced through this situation or the anger we've felt.  It's not about the fear we feel in stepping out.  It's about one thing and one thing only...

"Then Jesus came to them and said, "All power in heaven and on earth is given to me. So go and make followers of all people in the world.  Baptize them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Teach them to obey everything that i have taught you, and I will be with you always, even until the end of this age." Mt. 28:18-20
Let's focus on allowing God to use our lives for His glory.  There are so many hurting souls out there that need to experience the love of Christ!  Let's embrace them and allow God to change their lives forever!
It was asked of Derrick if he was in this for the long haul...Derrick and I are up for this...are you?

As a mom, I feel like such a mother hen sometimes.  I find myself being over protective in different situations.  When my kids are jumping on the trampoline and one of the bigger kids in the neighborhood are a little to rough, I go out and set things straight.  When a teacher thinks my kids might not be up to par on their "level", my defensive mode sets in.  If I see one of them about to get hurt, my husband would tell you I over-react a bit with the shrill of my scream.  When they are sick, I feel so helpless and want to do everything I can to comfort them. 
I don't think I am anything out of the ordinary.  I'm sure a majority of moms are the same way.   In realizing that, I think about one mom and can't even begin to imagine what she went through many years ago.  You see, it was about this time of year and I can assure you she was not dying Easter eggs, getting Easter baskets ready, nor was she picking out the best Easter suit for her son.  Instead she was having to stand by and watch her son be stripped down to just a cloth.  She had to watch him be beaten and bruised, spat upon and called names.  She had to watch him carry a heavy, rugged cross on top of the whipped stripes on his body.  She had to watch his hands and feet being nailed to this cross as soldiers just laughed and continued to make fun of Him.  She had to watch as they raised up this cross and dropped it down into the ground as it jolted his whole body.  She watched as her son, in the midst of His agony, still was pleading on the behalf of the criminal hanging beside Him.  She had to sit at the foot of this cross in her own puddle of tears and just wait for her son to die.  This, my friend, is something that I cannot even fathom.  My eyes swell with tears just thinking about how excruciating this must have been.  Letting my son die for the sin of other people is something I just don't think I could do. 
When Mary found out that she was going to be the mother of the Son of God, I'm sure she had no idea what to expect, but I bet she didn't envision this.  I doubt she could fully grasp the magnitude of what her son was doing.  She knew that her son had the power to speak just but one word and it could have all been stopped.  But she realized, for some reason, it had to be done. 
That reason was for you and for me.  Jesus' death on that cross was to endure our sins so that He could offer us the gift of grace and abundant life.  He bore our sins of pride, indulgence, sexual impurities, lies, hate, unforgiveness, deceit, murder, theft, idolatry, greed, lust, gossip...the list goes on and on.  He forgave you that day for any sin that you would ever commit and His will is for you to receive that forgiveness. 
I'm sure Mary would tell you that was the worst day of her life, but the best day of her life came only three days later when she realized her son had risen from the dead!
There's an old song that says, "He's alive!  He's alive!  He's alive and I'm forgiven, heavens' gates are opened wide!"  Now my tears are tears of joy!  Joyful that I have a Savior that loves me with an unconditional love and forgives me for all of my fleshly weaknesses.  Joyful that I have a Savior who would endure such a gruesome death in order for me to have a life of grace,hope, and peace.  I am so sorry that His mother had to witness such a horrific experience, but I pray that the salvation of my life and yours will make it worth it for her.
Thank You Jesus for dying on that old rugged cross for me!  Now, from one mom to another, thank you Mary for allowing the ultimate sacrifice.
Praise God!  Jesus is alive today and still on His throne!  If you have never experienced the love of the One who died just for you, don't wait another minute!  He's been waiting for you with open arms and wants to give you abundant life today!!!

Today Ciera began laying her head on Eli and Carmen's shoulder as they were carrying her around.  They were ecstatic.  They felt so loved and like such big brothers and sisters!
As I looked on in these very precious moments the thought came to me of how Jesus must feel when we finally come to Him and just lay our heads on His shoulder.
For some you may think, "How can you lay your head on someone's shoulder that you can't even see?"  Well, let me tell you my friend so that you may be comforted today.
When you lay your head on someone's shoulder you:

Trust them with your joys your pains.  There may be tears of joy or tears of pain that have trickled down one's arm as you've rested your head upon their shoulder. 
Psalm 30 :11 says, "You changed my sorrow into dancing.  You took away my clothes of sadness, and clothed me in happiness." (NCV)  why not rest your head on the One who will exchange your sorrow for joy and dancing?

Depend on them for support.    Maybe you are exhausted...ready to give up.  Maybe you feel as though this race called life will never end and when it does...to what avail?
Hebrews 12:1-3 "...So let us run the race that is before us and never give up.  We should remove from our lives anything that would get in the way and the sin that so easily holds us back.  Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect.  He suffered death on the cross.  But He accepted the shame as if it were nothing because of the joy that God put before Him.  And now He is sitting at the right side of God's throne. Think about Jesus' example.  He held on while wicked people were doing evil things to him.  so do not get tired and stop trying!"  (NCV)
I can assure you that I have had many a day wondering if I could even lift my head from my pillow and yet I have never even remotely endured what my Savior did for me on the cross.  Jesus promises that when we are weak, He is strong, so rest your weary head my friend!

Rely on them to handle you with care.  Ciera knows that her big brother and sister are going to hold her with tender loving care.  She snuggles up in their arms and casts her every care on them.  She is comfortable and very peaceful.  This blesses not only her, but if you could see the smiles on Eli and Carmen's faces as they are holding her, you would see that they are blessed even more!

This is just how our precious Lord is with us.  When we love Him enough to place all of our trust, dependence and reliance on Him, He feels us resting our heads on His shoulder and I can assure you that His big ol' cheese grin is just as big as Eli and Carmen's!  Let your Saviour love on you today...."cast all your cares upon Him because He cares for you!!!"